.... of being the "nice" one. You know that girl? The one who runs around trying to make everyone and their brother happy? The one who, rather that hurt someone's feelings, will poke out her own eyeball?
That's me. I am a perpetual people pleaser. Please don't get me wrong, I love doing things for people. I really do. I consider myself a highly compassionate and caring person. I don't get joy from the possible "thank you's" I may get. I really do find joy in the act of giving. But I just can't seem to draw that line between being a compassionate person and a doormat.
Just like Mikey, give it to me, and I'll do anything.
This is never so clear as in my relationship with the person I will affectionately term "psycho bitch".
Today I was accused of pitying her, and not giving her a break. I wasn't considering her feelings.
Yeah. That's me. Selfish bitch.
And I should just stop. I need to stop caring. Its like some awful obessive compulsive behavior. No matter how horrible she treats me, I continue to care. I know I should stop.
It just makes me tired. Very, very tired.
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