I'm sure I've written about fear before. It seems to be a common thing for me. I imagine it is for many. I'm not sure when fear became such a powerful motivator for me. Or rather, not a motivator, but the thing that kept me from reaching ...
I wanted to teach. I was afraid I couldn't find a job, and took the first one I could find ... 12 years later, I'm still there.
I was a great musician. I should have played in College. I should have at least minored in music. I didn't. I was too afraid to audition.
I want to write, and yet, I'm afraid that I'm not good enough.
Always this persistent fear that I will fail. Be not good enough.
The things that I am confident that I can do well are not things I do for myself, but for other people. I'm a great friend. I can edit like a whip. I give great advice. And I have the uncanny ability to give people exactly what they need at the time they need it. I love this about me. I love that I can be a great friend.
However, when will I stop being afraid to say that I'm worth as much as the people I give to.
I deserve to think better of myself. I deserve good things. I deserve to live life free from the overwhelming fear that I will fall short.
Recognizing these things is the easy part ... but am I too afraid to act?
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