Empathy & Pain

"You, my dear, cry for the pains of a thankless world. That makes your tears both all the more precious and all the more wasted." - The one I call Master & Friend

It has been said about the sign of Pisces that we have an innate ability to feel immense compassion, to the point of feeling another's pain, and being able to place ourselves into that person's shoes. To, me, this is certainly true. There is no real pride in that statement, or bragging. In my life, its just a fact. I can feel another's pain. I also take it on myself as if it were my own.

The idea of pain as a release has been clunking in my brain a lot lately, and I realized something ... a brief ephiphany, if you will.

I've always thought of pain given to me in a sexual situation, be it physical or emotional sense as something that let me release any pain I harbored inside. As the years have went on, it seems that I crave this more and more.

It occured to me that maybe my need for this type of release is not just to release my own pain ... but to release the pain that I take on for everyone else too. And, it made perfect sense to me.

You see, as much as I don't want them to, my tears all too often feel wasted. As if my compassion & empathy are used and then discarded. But it doesn't stop me from caring, and trying. I hurt for the people I love, and don't take time to feel my own hurt. Then when I do, I shut down completely.

This is turned into more of a ramble than I wanted it to. Maybe I need to think it through some more, but I do know that I'm tired of wasted tears. I wish for someone to find them precious.